This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
