Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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