i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
