i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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