Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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