And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She told me I should be a condom model.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
