So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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