worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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