..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize