Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize