is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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