is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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