your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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