god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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