Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think people are normalizing furries
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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