He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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