I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
