we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
