my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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