eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
