batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
