so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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