Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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