I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
