I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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