Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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