The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
