So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
