i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
