Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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