Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
