I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
