from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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