Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
jump out the window naked night went bad
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