Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
