I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
