the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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