susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
