she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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