I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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