No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
