i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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