a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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