Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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