i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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