it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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