did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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