Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
