I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
