Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
