I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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