His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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