I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.