Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.