Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.

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  (785): Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours. http://tfl.nu/zm6d
  Replies (17) Good night (4803) Bad night (831)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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  (815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp
  Replies (43) Good night (8211) Bad night (957)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Little spoons don't ask big questions

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  (330): Little spoons don't ask big questions http://tfl.nu/13tl
  Replies (18) Good night (4528) Bad night (895)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.

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  (702): He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form. http://tfl.nu/7sev
  Replies (54) Good night (874) Bad night (5430)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3965) Bad night (966)
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  (714): View more from California

  Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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  (714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju
  Replies (7) Good night (1456) Bad night (2111)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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  (571): It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack http://tfl.nu/ebu7
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (2040)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.

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  (217): he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9sp5
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (638)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.

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  (857): Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much. http://tfl.nu/89i4
  Replies (0) Good night (970) Bad night (477)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.

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  (615): Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will. http://tfl.nu/qydy
  Replies (11) Good night (870) Bad night (399)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.

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  (561): Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old. http://tfl.nu/6giy
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (353)
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  (415): View more from California

  My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.

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  (415): My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years. http://tfl.nu/u3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (411)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.

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  (954): I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller. http://tfl.nu/ozku
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (330)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.

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  (734): hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him. http://tfl.nu/ri55
  Replies (9) Good night (239) Bad night (365)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  "What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud

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  (719): "What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud http://tfl.nu/onps
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (253)

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