mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way