Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
