its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
