Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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  (516): He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home. http://tfl.nu/ewc8
  Replies (38) Good night (760) Bad night (6525)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer

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  (734): Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer http://tfl.nu/g808
  Replies (14) Good night (816) Bad night (3235)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

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  (864): I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction http://tfl.nu/jk7c
  Replies (71) Good night (5557) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

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  (845): This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin. http://tfl.nu/f5uz
  Replies (45) Good night (881) Bad night (8150)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.

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  (561): Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade. http://tfl.nu/fybc
  Replies (77) Good night (725) Bad night (7405)
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  (858): View more from California

  Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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  (858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b
  Replies (27) Good night (789) Bad night (8375)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (1552)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks

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  (443): And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks http://tfl.nu/r3ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1639) Bad night (1361)
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  (716): View more from New York

  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
  Replies (18) Good night (6209) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3543) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

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  (217): We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/r45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1681) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (948) Bad night (1569)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.

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  (623): I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future. http://tfl.nu/v5m6
  Replies (10) Good night (1684) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (295)

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