It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dick very happy bro