Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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