Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
