In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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