if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
