is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
