Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Green mimosas i think yes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
