So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
