Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
