Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
