Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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