How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
